Should I Be Concerned with Free Testosterone Levels?

In men, testosterone is the most abundant male sex hormone for a reason. This necessary androgen plays important roles in many body processes, and not just in maintaining high sex drive and normal sexual performance.

However, when we think of testosterone, we don’t really differentiate between free and total testosterone levels. In truth, though, free testosterone or circulating testosterone is the one that’s metabolically active, which means that’s the one that our body uses. Here’s why your free testosterone levels should concern you.


In men, testosterone is synthesized by the Leydig cells found inside the testicles. Luteinizing hormone (LH) from the pituitary gland stimulates the Leydig cells, triggering the production of the primary male sex hormone.

In young boys going through puberty, having sufficient levels of testosterone is extremely important in order for their male sex characteristics to develop well. The growth of muscles and body hair, the deepening of the voice, as well as the growth of the penis and testicles are all dependent on having normal testosterone levels.

In adult males, testosterone is often associated with the level of sex drive, sperm production, and erectile function. In fact, normal testosterone levels are also necessary for bone health, muscle growth and development, and for overall health.

Why You Need to Test Your Free Testosterone Levels

Your Free T-index or free testosterone index is a measure of how much testosterone you have freely circulating in your body. When you produce testosterone, most of it becomes bound to albumin and SHBG or sex hormone-binding globulin.

Whether you’re male or female, you’ll need to have your Free T-index measured regularly. That’s because your Free T-index can actually help your doctor diagnose various diseases such as androgen excess in women and hypogonadism or androgen deficiency in men.

For older males, specifically, hypogonadism is a common disorder. If you’re not worried about the decrease in fertility that usually accompanies hypogonadism, you should still be concerned because the condition is also associated with loss of bone mass, lower energy levels, and most importantly, erectile dysfunction.

If you’re noticing a decrease in your sex drive, having your free testosterone levels tested can help your doctor determine if your loss of libido is caused by androgen deficiency, or if you’re already suffering from andropause or late-onset hypogonadism.

The problem with andropause is that it causes more than just a decline in your sexual desire and performance. Late-onset hypogonadism can also lead to depression, poor concentration, and even anemia. As most men know, the extremely low levels of testosterone associated with andropause can also result in erectile dysfunction and infertility.

How Do You Test Your Free Testosterone Levels?

low testosterone level test result

Free and total testosterone levels can be easily measured through a blood sample. The blood sample is usually drawn in the morning since that’s when your free and total testosterone levels peak. Both total and circulating testosterone levels actually fluctuate, so the doctor would need to test you when your androgen levels are at their highest.

Testosterone is usually measured either in picograms per milliliter (pg/mL) or nanograms per deciliter (ng/dL). For adult men aged 50 years old or older, the normal range is 193-740 ng/dL. For men aged 19-49 years old, the normal range is 249-836 ng/dL.

Depending on your results, your healthcare provider may recommend other tests such as sperm analysis, blood tests for other hormones, and testicular biopsy to analyze your testicular tissues. If your doctor suspects that something is wrong with your pituitary gland, an MRI of your pituitary gland may also be needed.

Should You Undergo Testosterone Replacement Therapy?

A lot of elderly men think that if only they could get testosterone replacement therapy, they would feel younger and more energetic and that they would be able to perform better during sex. However, testosterone replacement therapy may not always be the best solution to your low testosterone problems.

testosterone replacement therapy injection

Although it’s been observed that testosterone replacement therapy can help reverse some of the adverse effects of hypogonadism, doctors also warn that the treatment may increase your risks of certain diseases such as heart diseases and benign prostatic hyperplasia or an enlarged prostate.

Testosterone replacement therapy has also been associated with higher risks of prostate cancer, sleep apnea, blood clots, and congestive heart failure. In addition, testosterone replacement therapy may also cause your testicles to shrink.

Natural Ways to Maintain High Levels of Free Testosterone

When you’re concerned about your free testosterone levels, one thing that you should do is to try and minimize aromatase activities in your body. Men also need small amounts of female sex hormones or estrogens, which is why a mechanism to convert testosterone into estrogen exists. That mechanism is through the actions of the enzyme aromatase.

The problem with high aromatase activities is that a lot of your free testosterone can get converted into estrogen, leaving only a little amount of circulating testosterone that your body can use.

In addition, when estrogen levels are too high, men can develop gynecomastia or the enlargement of breasts. Weight gain, increased risks of stroke, as well as prostate problems, are also linked to high estrogen levels in men.

To prevent your estrogen levels from skyrocketing and to keep your free testosterone levels high, you should try natural aromatase inhibitors such as fenugreek. Scientifically referred to as Trigonella foenum-graecum, fenugreek is an herb that’s popular for having numerous health benefits.

For one, fenugreek is known to have aromatase inhibitory effects, which means that taking fenugreek supplements can help you manage your free testosterone levels. Not only that, but the herb is also great for controlling your blood sugar levels and keeping diabetes in check. Plus, the herb can also help you control your appetite and manage your weight.

Millions of people are suffering from diabetes and obesity, and elderly men should be more concerned about these health conditions, considering the fact that these two diseases are some of the most common causes of impaired erectile function.

This means that if you take fenugreek supplements, you not only manage your free testosterone levels, but you can also control your diabetes, and even lose some unwanted weight.

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Differences Between Free and Total Testosterone Levels

So, you’ve got a problem with your sex drive. Is it safe to assume right away that your testosterone levels are low? Most men associate testosterone with libido, and rightly so since the hormone is the one that primarily powers your sex drive.

But testosterone is much more than just fuel for your libido. Men’s overall health actually depends a lot on having normal testosterone levels. Not having enough of the primary androgen can lead to various health conditions like osteoporosis. To find out if your T levels are normal, a simple testosterone measurement test will suffice.

But such tests usually measure both total and free testosterone levels. Is there really any difference between the two? Read on to find out.

How Is Testosterone Produced?

The male body produces testosterone through various mechanisms, but most of the hormone synthesis happens in the testicles. A small portion of testosterone is produced by the adrenal glands.

The pituitary gland secretes a hormone called Luteinizing Hormone (LH), which is then released inside the testicles to stimulate the Leydig cells to start producing testosterone. This means that if the Leydig cells do not get stimulated by LH, or if your LH levels are low, there will be insufficient testicular production of testosterone.

testosterone molecular structure

The precursor hormone to testosterone is DHEA or dehydroepiandrosterone. It is also sometimes referred to as androstenolone. DHEA production happens in the brain, the adrenal glands, as well as in the gonads. DHEA can be transformed by the body into testosterone, dihydrotestosterone, and even estrogen.

Total Vs. Free Testosterone

Once your body produces testosterone, the hormone is then released into your bloodstream. This is why you need to draw a blood sample in order to test your testosterone levels.

Once testosterone is in your bloodstream, most of it immediately becomes bound to sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG) and albumin. Only around 2% of all the testosterone that you produce is left unbound. This is what’s called your free testosterone or circulating testosterone.

The first important difference between free and total testosterone is that the latter has been bound by other molecules, while free testosterone is the hormone in its original, unaltered, and unbound form.

The second and perhaps more important difference between the two is that it’s the free testosterone that is able to connect with testosterone receptors found in various cells in different parts of the body. In essence, free testosterone is what your body uses for most of the functionality associated with the hormone, including muscle growth and development.

On the one hand, your total testosterone level is a measurement of how much of the hormone, whether bound or free, you have in your bloodstream.

Why You Need to Measure Both Total and Free Testosterone

When you have your testosterone levels tested, it’s necessary to measure both your free and total testosterone levels. You may actually have normal total testosterone levels but still suffer from hypogonadism symptoms.

That could happen if your SHBG levels are abnormally high. The more SHBG you have, the more of your free testosterone can get bound to SHBG. This means that even if your total testosterone levels are normal, you can still have abnormally low free testosterone levels.

And that’s problematic because it would mean that your body doesn’t have enough supply of readily available testosterone that your cells can use. Testosterone that’s bound to SHBG can’t actually enter your cells, so your cells won’t be able to use it.

In short, measuring your free testosterone levels along with your total testosterone levels will help your doctor understand why you’re suffering from testosterone-deficiency symptoms such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, and muscle and bone mass loss.

Raising Your Free Testosterone Levels

There are basically two ways to raise your levels of free testosterone. First is to increase your total testosterone levels, and the other is to reduce the amount of your free testosterone that gets bound to SHBG or converted into other hormones like estrogen or dihydrotestosterone.

There are several ways by which you can elevate your total testosterone levels. You can increase your internal production of testosterone, for instance. To do this, you need to equip your body with all the nutrients that you need in order to synthesize testosterone, including omega-3 fatty acids, zinc, and vitamin D. Others also take DHEA supplements.

testosterone replacement therapy gel

Testosterone replacement therapy is also another option, but that may have more risks than benefits for you. So you should only do it if your doctor believes it’s really necessary for you.

To prevent your free testosterone from being converted into various other hormones, you’ll need to minimize the actions of aromatase and 5-alpha reductase. These are the two enzymes that are mainly responsible for the conversion of testosterone into estrogen and dihydrotestosterone.

Thus, you can benefit greatly from taking supplements that are known to inhibit aromatase and 5-alpha reductase. Fenugreek, for instance, is a popular aromatase inhibitor, which is why it’s highly recommended for men with low free testosterone levels.

What’s amazing about fenugreek is that its benefits aren’t limited to just raising your free testosterone levels. Fenugreek is also a popular supplement for people who are trying to control their appetite and manage their weight better. Not only that, but fenugreek is also good for diabetic people since the herb can help you control your blood sugar levels.

Other supplements that can be beneficial for you include Tongkat Ali, Tribulus Terrestris, Zinc, and Ashwagandha. Tongkat Ali is a natural way for you to raise your production of testosterone, and you’ll need to have an ample supply of zinc to support your testosterone production.

Tongkat Ali can also help improve your stress hormone profile by lowering your cortisol levels. When you’re stressed, your cortisol levels typically shoot up. Cortisol actually has inhibitory effects on testosterone production, which is why men who are chronically stressed usually have very low testosterone levels.

Tribulus Terrestris and Ashwagandha have also been scientifically proven to help raise testosterone levels. In fact, because they’re effective in increasing testosterone levels, these two herbs are recommended for men with erection and fertility problems.

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How Do You Know When Your Testosterone Levels Are Falling Off?

Men today are already very much aware of how crucial testosterone is. Not only does your primary male sex hormone help you perform well during sex, but it’s also necessary for your overall health.

The problem, however, starts when your testosterone levels start to fall off. When this happens, you’ll start experiencing various changes in your body. And they’re not all easy to deal with, just like the loss of your libido. If you want to know how to spot symptoms of falling testosterone levels, continue reading.

Symptoms of Declining Testosterone Levels

Most people associate testosterone with strength and sexual virility. However, when your testosterone levels start to decline, it’s not just your sexual performance or your physical strength that will suffer. Here are several low testosterone symptoms you should watch out for.

  • Erection Problems

Stimulating your penile tissues so that they would produce nitric oxide is one of the most crucial functions of testosterone. Nitric oxide is a neurotransmitter and vasodilator that plays an important role in your erectile function.

Nitric oxide basically triggers the production of a compound called cGMP or cyclic guanosine monophosphate. Without enough levels of nitric oxide in your penile tissues, you won’t be able to produce enough cGMP to start an erection.

Hence, when your testosterone levels decline, your nitric oxide production decreases and your erectile function becomes impaired.

  • Loss of Sex Drive

Testosterone is the main regulator of your libido. This means that when your testosterone levels fall below normal, you may start experiencing a reduction in your sex drive.

  • Loss of Hair
middle aged man hair loss

Not all symptoms of low testosterone levels are centered around male sexual performance. Falling levels of testosterone can also affect your physical appearance.

Since the hormone is needed for the development of male characteristics such as body hair, you may suffer from hair loss when your testosterone levels are too low. In fact, in young men with premature hair loss, low testosterone is often the cause.

Even women who have extremely low testosterone levels can also suffer hair loss. According to research, balding women may experience hair regrowth if they undergo testosterone therapy.

  • Reduced Muscle and Bone Mass

One of the reasons why testosterone is usually associated with physical strength is that the hormone is directly involved in the development of your muscles. The higher your testosterone levels are, the easier it is for your body to grow and develop muscles.

In contrast, when you have low testosterone levels, your muscle development will become impaired. Numerous studies have revealed that a decline in testosterone levels is typically accompanied by a reduction in muscle mass, which is also associated with lesser muscle strength.

In addition, extremely low levels of the primary male sex hormone can also lead to a reduction in muscle mass. In fact, testosterone-related osteoporosis is a real concern among elderly men whose testosterone levels are way too low.

  • Increased Body Fat

As your muscle and bone mass decrease, your body fat will increase when your testosterone levels are declining. The problem with this is that body fat is another risk factor for low testosterone levels.

Carrying excess weight around your waist can lead to an uptick in aromatase activities. Aromatase is an enzyme that converts testosterone into female sex hormones like estrogen. This means that the more belly fat you have, the more likely it is that your testosterone levels will drop.

  • Reduced Testicular Size

Your muscles are not the only ones that grow smaller when your testosterone levels are declining. Your testicles, which are the ones primarily responsible for synthesizing testosterone, can also become smaller.

When your testicular tissues are no longer producing testosterone, they could atrophy. This means that your testicular cells actually waste away or degenerate. When those atrophied testicular cells die, it can cause your testicles to become smaller in size.

  • Impaired Fertility

Testosterone is very important for the normal growth of your spermatozoa. As sperm cells grow inside your testicles, they need testosterone for their nourishment.

male infertility treatment

When you’re not producing sufficient amounts of the hormone, your growing spermatozoa may stop developing. What’s worse is that your sperm cells may actually start dying off even before they become mature.

This means that you will have fewer spermatozoa in your semen, and that can negatively affect your fertilization capacity. In fact, infertility is common among men who have hypogonadism, a condition that causes you to produce very little testosterone and sperm.

Raising Your Testosterone Levels Naturally

Although declining testosterone levels are quite common as you advance in years, the good thing is that there are many ways by which you can combat declining testosterone levels. And you won’t necessarily have to undergo testosterone replacement therapy, which can be quite costly for you.

Your diet, for instance, can help you address your problems with low testosterone. When you’re not producing enough of the male hormone, you’ll need to nourish your body will all the nutrients needed for normal testosterone production, including vitamin D, omega-3 fatty acids, and zinc.

This means that you’ll benefit greatly if you incorporate shellfish, tuna, beef, and fortified breakfast items into your diet. Alternatively, you can also take supplements to increase your intake of zinc, vitamin D, and omega-3 fatty acids.

Numerous herbal supplements can also help you raise your testosterone production. Tongkat Ali, for instance, has been proven safe through several scientific studies. It’s very effective in elevating testosterone levels that experts recommend it for men suffering from late-onset hypogonadism.

The good thing about Tongkat Ali is that it can help you address several problems associated with extremely low testosterone levels. For instance, the herb is proven effective in treating erectile dysfunction, as well as in increasing libido. Not only that, but Tongkat Ali is also recommended for men with low sperm counts and impaired fertility.

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Do People Really Want to Have Sex with Ghosts?

In layman’s terms, spectrophilia refers to the phenomenon of having sex with or being sexually attracted to ghosts. People who are attracted to or have had sexual interactions with ghosts are called spectrophiles.

People would probably question your sanity if you told them that you wanted to have sex with a ghost. But according to those who supposedly have had the pleasure of ghost sex, it’s the best sex they’ve ever had, which is encouraging news for those who want to try it. If you’re curious about how ghost sex works, continue reading.

Have People Always Believed in Ghost Sex?

Looking back, it seems that ghost sex has always been a thing. Succubi have been frequently mentioned in medieval legends. A succubus is a supernatural entity, specifically a female demon, which takes on the form of a human female in order to seduce and have sex with human males. The male counterpart is referred to as an incubus.

According to legend, the succubus is a nasty-looking creature with a demonic personality. Succubi supposedly used sex as a means to steal away a man’s life force or to please themselves. It’s said that a succubus would collect the semen of the man she had sex with, and an incubus would use that semen to impregnate a woman.

This is supposedly how these entities reproduce, and it’s said that the offspring, called a cambion, also showed demonic characteristics. Other legends say that the incubus and succubus were actually the same demonic entity taking on a different form, depending on the gender of their chosen victim.

Unlike the ugly succubi of medieval legends, the current concept of these entities is that they are beautiful, sexy female ghosts who invade your dreams to give you the best sex you’ve ever had. And according to those who say they’ve had sex with a male ghost or an incubus, the experience is apparently extremely pleasurable.

How Does Ghost Sex Work?

If you believe the reports, and there have actually been celebrities who have confessed that they’ve made love with a supernatural entity, ghost sex is absolutely incredible. They say that you can actually feel someone touching you, caressing you, and making love with you.

woman experiencing orgasm

There are cases when it would feel like you’re just having sex with someone in your dreams, but there are also cases wherein those who experienced it said that they could really feel their ghost lover’s body pressing down on them.

Amethyst Realm, who’s quite famous in the spectrophiliac world, has been reported to have claimed that the orgasms she felt with her spirit lovers were way more intense and deeper than she ever experienced with a human male. She also said that although you don’t see any physical body that you can touch, you can definitely sense the spirit’s touch.

Celebrities Who Had Ghost Sex

If we count the movie Ghost, then Demi Moore would probably top the list of celebrities who have had sexual encounters with spirits. In real life, though, there are actually several celebs who are spectrophiles.

The singer Ke$ha, for one, is known to be very open about her supernatural sexual relations. She apparently found sex with a ghost so special, she even wrote a song about it entitled Supernatural.

Even before Ke$ha became popular, both as a singer and a spectrophile, the actress Lucy Liu reported back in 1999 that she had a blissful sexual encounter with a ghostly being. The late Anna Nicole Smith is perhaps one of the most popular celebrity spectrophile. In an FHM interview, she said that a ghost crawled up her leg and had sex with her.

How to Have Sex with a Ghost

Apparently, there are some people who actually want to have sexual relations with ghosts. There are even numerous online resources that will tell you how you can summon a succubus in supposedly easy steps. Which makes you want to ask why people would actually do such a spooky thing.

However, if you really want to experience having sex with a corporeal being, you might want to try summoning a succubus, an incubus, or whatever supernatural entity you would like to have sex with.

lighted candles for ritual

Depending on which succubus-summoning online resource you’ll follow, you’ll need as few materials as just some candles, a white cord or white chalk, and some incense. Other online resources say you can even summon a succubus or a sex demon just by visualizing it.

Of course, one thing that these online resources have in common is that they always warn you to be prepared for possible consequences. Succubi are generally not gentle creatures. In fact, they’re known to possess demonic characters.

If you do happen to be successful in summoning one and having sex with it, you’ll have to deal with the problem of banishing the sex demon after your intercourse. It may be that the succubus would want to stay with you for a while longer, or it could be up to some other mischief. In any case, you should be prepared to banish the entity once you’re done.

For those who reported that they have had sexual relations with ghosts, however, many of them say that they just suddenly felt the presence of a spirit and that spirit just started touching them. They didn’t need to summon a ghost. If you’re lucky enough, your spirit lover will just come to you.

If you’re concerned that you might not be successful in summoning a spirit lover considering the fact that most reported cases of spectrophilia involve human females, don’t worry. There are actually men who reported that they’ve had had ghost sex and that the experience is truly fantastic.

For instance, there’s Erik Vonroth who’s a self-proclaimed occult master from the United Kingdom. His spiritual lover is Nilahny, and he says sex with her is explosive. Erik is also known to give lessons on how to summon your own spiritual lover. Erik claims to have helped many people to successfully engage in sexual relations with corporeal entities.

According to him, visualization is one technique that you can practice so that you can summon a succubus. If you want to give it a try, you’ll need a private space where you can be comfortable and focus on the image of the ghost, succubus, or incubus that you want to summon.

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Sex Toys That You Can Enjoy Together to Spice Up the Bedroom

So you think the old missionary position is boring and sex has already become routine. If you’re looking for ways to spice up your bedroom game, why not try using sex toys? Sexual playthings are perfect for increasing your pleasure. Plus, they also make sex more intense and exciting.

It’s not true that men who are lacking in the sex department are the only ones who need to use sex toys. In fact, those who truly know how to enjoy their sexuality are the ones who are great at using sex toys. Whether it’s for increasing your partner’s sexual pleasure or just making things for fun during sex, here are some sex toys you can enjoy together.

Why You Should Try Sex Toys

One of the most common reasons why couples experiment with various sex toys is that these gadgets can definitely help enhance sexual pleasure. Although most people use sexual playthings that are designed to increase women’s sexual pleasure, there are also many sex toys that are designed to intensify the sexual pleasure of men.

Studies have shown, for instance, that men who often use vibrators either for themselves, their partner, or for both of them, tend to have higher scores on sexual desire and satisfaction, as well as on erectile function and orgasm function, as compared to men who never used a vibrator.

Other studies have also revealed that there are long-term benefits for couples who use sex toys as a tool to discover new ways of being intimate with each other.  In general, couples who play with bedroom gadgets tend to do better in terms of relationship satisfaction, as well as maintaining sexual desire and passion for each other.

Vibrators for Increased Stimulation

blue silicone vibrator

For most women, it’s easier to achieve an orgasm when there’s clitoral stimulation. That’s why you’ll find a lot of vibrators that are specifically designed to stimulate the clitoris. If you’re shopping for a vibrator for the first time, you’ll have lots of fun choosing from the various models.

If you want to be discreet, or you’re looking for a vibrator that your partner can bring wherever she goes, there are even clitoral vibrators that are designed as wearable jewelry. Other clitoral vibrators are designed to be pressed against the clitoris during sex, while there are also those that can be inserted into the vagina for added G-spot stimulation.

What’s great about these dual-purpose vibrators is that you can also benefit from the increased sexual stimulation. When you’ve got a G-spot vibrator inserted into your partner’s vagina while you’re having penetrative sex, the enhanced sensations will also intensify your sexual pleasure and make your orgasm more intense.

Some hand-held vibrators are even waterproof, so you can use them whenever you feel like having shower sex. If your partner enjoys masturbating while soaking in the bathtub, a waterproof vibrator would be an excellent gift.

Vibrating cock rings and intimate massagers are also great additions to your sex toys collection. Although cock rings are primarily designed to intensify male sexual pleasure, you can also use it to press against your partner’s clitoris so that both of you can benefit from the added sensations.

Anal Sex Toys to Double the Fun

For first-timers, anal sex can be quite intimidating. But once you try it, you just might get addicted. For one, the butt area is quite rich in nerve endings, which means that anal stimulation can lead to intense sensations.

For this reason, many people immensely enjoy having anal sex. What’s great about using anal sex toys is that these sexual playthings can do wonders for both you and your partner.

With the use of an anal sex toy, you can easily reach your partner’s G-spot from behind, or you can also aim for your P-spot. Stimulating your prostate can reward you with an extremely intense orgasm.

If you’re a beginner and you’re not used to having a toy inserted into your anus yet, you can use a vibrator to stimulate the outside of your anus. When you’re ready to discover the fun of anal sex, you can use beginner beads.

These beads usually start small and grow bigger in diameter. What’s nice about beginner beads is that you can control the level of penetration. And when you’re about to orgasm, try pulling the beads out slowly. The added sensations will definitely make your orgasm more intense.

If you find anal beads challenging to use, you can try an anal bead stick. Some models also have a vibrator function, so you can just imagine how much sexual stimulation these toys can give you.

There are also anal sex starter kits that both you and your partner can use. Some kits contain multi-speed vibrating probes or bullet vibrators, allowing you to explore different sensations.

Toys for When You Feel Naughty

If you have ever fantasized about making your partner orgasm in public, there are many remote-controlled sex toys that can make your fantasy an exciting reality. Have your partner wear a vibrating panty and play with the remote control to make her feel different sensations.

lace blindfold and whip

If you feel like adding an element of mystery into your sexual play, try using a blindfold and restraints set. Being blindfolded can increase the sense of anticipation and excitement. Plus, your sense of touch becomes heightened, which means any sensation you experience feels more intense.

Don’t Forget to Lube Up

When you’re using sex toys, it’s always a good idea to lube up, especially if you’re using toys for anal sex. Unlike a woman’s vagina, there’s no natural lubricant in the anus. Using a lubricant will make it easier for you to use anal sex toys more smoothly.

For silicone-based toys, make sure you use a water-based lubricant. And one quick tip. When you’re shopping for your next sex toy, go ahead and buy a sex toy cleaner as well. You’re basically using your toy on your most intimate parts, so it’s a good idea to keep your sexual plaything clean.

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What to Know About Swingers Clubs

For couples who are starting to feel like sex has become routine and boring, swinging can be a great way to bring fun and excitement back into your sex life. Not only does swinging give you an opportunity to explore your sexuality, but it’s also an excellent way to enrich your sexual experience.

Swinger clubs or adult lifestyle clubs, as they are sometimes called, are a good way to meet and sexually interact with other swinger couples. If you and your partner are thinking about joining a swingers club, here are some things you should keep in mind.

Do Some Research

Most swinger clubs don’t advertise, but you can find a lot of information about swinger clubs through the internet. If you haven’t tried going to a swinger club yet, it’s best to do some research first so you’ll know what to expect.

Before you apply for membership at a swinger club, do some comparison first. Take a look at the club’s rules, policies, as well as membership requirements and cost. For instance, some clubs allow orgies and even provide orgy beds, while others don’t. Choose the swinger club that you’re most comfortable with.

If you’re single, it’s best to find out if the swinger club you’re planning to go to accommodates single people. Some swinger clubs accept single guests on certain days only. Other clubs, on the one hand, are exclusive for couples only.

Be on the Same Page

naked swingers

Before you sign up for a swinger club membership, make sure you and your partner are on the same page. It’s not just about agreeing to have sex with whoever you’ll meet at the club.

You also need to talk about whatever rules or limits you may want to set for yourself such as not engaging in oral sex. Other swinger couples have rules about not having multiple sex partners. Whatever rules you come up with will depend on you and your partner. The important thing is to be on the same page.

You may also want to agree on a certain signal, so you can let each other know if you’re feeling uncomfortable or if there’s a problem. When you’re at a swinger club, you’re basically having sex with a stranger and unexpected things can happen.

Get the Lay of the Land

If it’s your first time swinging or you’re trying out a swinger club for the first time, try to refrain from having sex with the first person you meet. Get the lay of the land and check out the situation first.

Watch first and observe how the other swinger couples are, then you can decide if you really want to jump in on the action. Also, not everyone who goes to a swinger club actually wants to have sex. There are also those who just want to watch others get down and dirty without taking part in the action themselves.

Even if it’s a sex party, you don’t have to force yourself to have sex with the first couple you meet if you’re not comfortable with them or you don’t like them. If you and your partner do find a couple that you’d like to swing with, try to talk to them first. Set expectations so that you’re all on the same page.

Some clubs have rules like dress codes and wristband policies. Other clubs have defined play areas, and they usually don’t allow masturbation or nudity outside the play area. Most swinger clubs prohibit the use of smartphones in the premises, as well as taking pictures or videos.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask

Whether you’re simply asking about the club’s rules or you’re asking a couple if they would like to swap with you and your partner, don’t be shy to ask. Swingers are usually very approachable, and you also need to socialize when you’re at a sex party.

If you and your partner are attending a swinger club for the first time and you want to experiment, you can ask other swinger couples to guide you. Swinging can be an intimidating experience, especially for those who are trying it out for the first time. The good news is that many swinger couples would be happy to help you through it.

Make Sure You’re Protected

woman biting on condom packet

Most swinger clubs provide condoms, but it’s always a good idea to bring your own protection. Again, you’re going to be engaging in sex with people you don’t know and you can’t be sure if they have any history of STDs. Just to be safe, keep yourself protected.

Other clubs encourage their patrons to bring their own sex toys. If you enjoy using sex toys, it’s best to bring your own. That way, you’re sure that your toy is working, clean and free of STD-causing pathogens, and comfortable for you to use.

What to Avoid When You’re at a Swinger Club

You’re probably at a swinger club because you want some exciting sexual action. That being said, remember that your goal at the sex party is to get hot and steamy. Hence, avoid drinking too much alcohol. You definitely wouldn’t want a whiskey dick when you’re at a swinger club.

Avoid closed curtains and doors. Although it’s a sex party, some people still want to enjoy the act of sex in private. If the door is closed, don’t interrupt even if you know the couple inside. Even open doors don’t necessarily mean that whoever is having sex inside is inviting you to join.

Don’t force it when someone says no. No matter how wild the party is, not everyone there would want to have sex with you, just like how you wouldn’t want to have sex with some of the people there.

If your invitation to have sex is declined, respect that. In the same manner, you should also politely decline if someone you’re not comfortable with wants to have sex with you. Just because it’s a sex party, it doesn’t mean that mutual consent is no longer necessary. On the contrary, consent is a crucial matter when you’re at a swinger club.

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Do Open Relationships Really Work?

If you’re in a committed relationship, will you mind if your partner had sex with someone else? Many people would say that they wouldn’t like it if their partner got intimate with someone else. But there are also those who are very much comfortable with having an open relationship.

For many who are wondering what it’s like to be in an open relationship, the first thing they want to know is if it can actually work. Whichever type of open relationship you’re going to have, how it will work will really depend on you and your partner. To find out if an open relationship would work for you, continue reading.

Open Relationships Come in Various Forms

People normally conceive of open relationships as having a non-monogamous relationship. Times have evolved, however, and so have our personal relationships. There are now different types of non-monogamous relationships, and experts have classified open relationships into different categories.

When you have a sexually exclusive relationship with your partner, that’s called monogamy. It’s classical if you both have had no other sexual partners previously, and you remain faithful to your partner your whole life. Serial monogamy, on the one hand, is defined as being in a series of a monogamous relationship.

In contrast, non-monogamous relationships vary in terms of the degree of sexual openness, structure, roles, honesty, and emotional connection. In addition, some non-monogamous couples come up with rules that make their open relationship quite unique.

Polygamy, as practiced in certain religions and cultures, is the most common form of non-monogamous relationships. It’s called polygyny if the husband is married to multiple wives who are sexually exclusive with him. Polyandry, wherein a woman is married to multiple husbands, is far less common than polygyny.

Consensual non-monogamous relationships or open relationships generally refer to any relationship wherein the primary couple are open to having sexual relations with others. Polyamory, monogamish, and swinging are all common examples of open relationships.

2 women getting busy with 1 man

Currently, swinging is the most popular and diverse type of open relationship. Committed couples basically consensually exchange partners just for the main purpose of engaging in sex.

Monogamish couples, on the one hand, have stricter rules when it comes to sexual contact outside the relationship. Although the couple stays committed with each other, they both allow the other to have sexual relations with someone else, albeit to a limited degree.

In a monogamish relationship, the couple may commit to a certain rule like having sex with a third party only once a month. Some monogamish couples have rules about kissing, oral sex, and time limitations.

Polyamory, on the one hand, may appear to be the most liberated type of open relationship. Couples in a polyamorous relationship engage in multiple romantic and sexual relationships simultaneously.

What Makes Open Relationships Work?

If you have never tried an open relationship in the past, you may wonder how these non-monogamous couples make it work. Some people just can’t get their mind wrapped around the idea of their partner being in bed with someone else. And that’s actually one of the biggest factors that can make or break an open relationship.

When you’re in a non-monogamous relationship, no matter what form it is, it’s not just about being aware that your partner is having sex with someone else. It’s all about accepting that fact and being okay with it without any jealous or insecure feelings.

When a partner starts to feel jealous or insecure, that’s when an open relationship starts to crumble. This is why honesty and transparency are very important for couples in an open relationship.

Non-monogamous relationship couples who make it actually work usually establish how much they’re going to share with each other. There are those who agree that they will be open and honest about everything, sharing all details about their sexual interactions outside the relationship.

There’s really no set standard on how much you’re going to share with your partner about your other sexual relations when you’re in an open relationship. The key is to establish and agree on the level of honesty and transparency that you expect from each other.

If you expect your partner to tell you about everything that happened with her latest one-night stand, but you yourself aren’t willing to tell her how sexually excited you were when you were with your latest sexual partner, then that could put a strain on your relationship.

One thing that you and your partner also need to decide on before you start an open relationship is the kind of arrangement that you will have. You have a lot of options, and you can decide on the structure of your relationship and what kind of rules you will both commit to. The important thing is for both of you to agree on such structure and rules.

You don’t have to stay committed to one form of open relationship, either. If you and your partner both agree to it, you can switch from a swinging relationship to a monogamish or even a polyamorous relationship. It really depends on how sexually open you both are, and your level of comfort in exploring these types of non-monogamous relationships.

Why Open Relationships Sometimes Fail

As with any other relationship, how strong an open relationship stays really depends on the strength of the connection between the primary couple. Anything that breaks that emotional and sexual connection can cause an open relationship to fail.

jealous woman staring at couple

Jealousy is by far the most common reason why couples in an open relationship break up. When you’re swinging and you notice that your partner seems to be more satisfied when she’s having sex with your friend, sometimes you can’t help but feel jealous. That’s natural, too, since jealousy is a very human emotion.

Feelings of insecurities often accompany jealousy. When you start comparing yourself with your partner’s latest playmate, that can trigger feelings of insecurity, especially if you think the other person is better at sex than you.

If you do want your open relationship to last, you both need to protect the trust that you have for each other. Even if you both consent to the other having sexual relations with someone else, it’s still cheating if you’re not staying faithful to the rules that you have established for your open relationship.

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How Old is Too Old to Have Sex?

By the time you reach your 70th birthday, do you think you’ll still be having sex? It’s not as if there’s a switch for turning your sex drive off. But many people seem to find the thought of elderly sex funny, thinking that you’re not supposed to engage in sex anymore when you’re already old.

But does sex really have an age limit? If so, at what age should you stop having sex? The truth is that elderly people do still engage in sex, and there’s no age limit when it comes to enjoying your sexuality. However, it won’t be the same as when you were still younger. Here’s what you should know about elderly sex.

Sexuality in Old Age

Elderly people may seem too old to do the deed, but they do still enjoy sex and intimacy. A healthy sexuality is an important component of one’s well-being, and elderly people who still get to enjoy intimate relations tend to have a healthier sense of well-being than those who don’t have intimate relationships.

Although one’s sex drive typically declines as one gets older, it doesn’t mean that elderly people stop being interested in sex. For instance, the results of the 2018 National Poll on Healthy Aging indicate that as many as 50% of men aged 65-80 years old are still very much interested in sex.

Studies also indicate that elderly people tend to put more value on intimacy rather on the physical act of sex. Kissing, hugging, cuddling, and even just holding hands are as important as actually engaging in sex, and such intimate activities can also be a source of sexual satisfaction.

Factors That Can Affect Sexual Enjoyment Among the Elderly

erectile dysfunction on mature man

For elderly men, low libido and erectile dysfunction are the top two factors that can prevent them from enjoying sex. A low sex drive is a common thing among elderly men, and part of it is due to reduced testosterone production. Erectile dysfunction, on the one hand, may be the result of various medical and psychological factors.

Men who are already in their 60s or older tend to suffer from health conditions that affect penile blood flow and erectile function, such as cardiovascular diseases and diabetes. In the United States, more than 23 million elderly adults aged 65 years and older are suffering from diabetes. Elderly men who have diabetes have a higher tendency to become impotent.

For older men, diabetes and heart diseases are not the only health factors that can prevent them from fully enjoying their sexuality. Arthritis, gout, joint pain, and back pain are also common health conditions that can limit one’s flexibility and mobility, which means that you won’t be able to move as much as you’d like to during sex.

Elderly men also tend to have a slower sexual response time. If you used to be able to achieve instant hard-ons, as you grow older, it may take your body a little bit longer for you to achieve an erection. You may also need more sexual stimulation before you get a hard-on.

In addition, elderly men also tend to experience weaker erections. And because their pelvic floor muscles are no longer as strong as when they were younger, their orgasm and ejaculation do not feel as intense or strong.

Age-related changes that influence one’s sexual enjoyment are also common among elderly women. Whereas erectile dysfunction is one of the biggest sexual problems for elderly men, older women tend to have problems with their vaginal lubrication.

Vaginal dryness is a common problem even among pre-menopausal women. The tissues that line the vagina may become fragile and dry due to decreased circulating estrogen levels, which is typical during and after menopause.

When the vaginal lining is dry, sexual intercourse can result in irritation, chafing, and even bleeding. This can make sex extremely uncomfortable and painful, which would explain why many women suffering from vaginal dryness often want to avoid having sex altogether.

Just like elderly men, it may also take longer for older women to respond to sexual stimulation. This means that it may take longer, or more sexual stimulation is needed before an older woman’s natural vaginal lubrication kicks in.

And just like the way older men tend to experience weaker erections, older women may not have as much vaginal lubrication as they used to have. Fortunately, this can be easily remedied by using a vaginal lubricant.

Tips for Better Sex When You’re Older

happy senior couple

Even with so many factors that can negatively impact your sexual performance, you don’t have to stop engaging in sex when you’re already in your senior years. However, you may need a little help so as to fully enjoy a healthy sex life.

For elderly women, it’s not embarrassing to use a vaginal lubricant. Not only will it help increase your sexual pleasure, but it can also protect you from painful sex due to vaginal dryness.  There are also products available to aid women suffering from menopause-related vaginal dryness.

Because our bodies tend to respond more slowly as we get older, it makes a lot of sense to focus and spend more time on foreplay. Take your time. You don’t have to force yourself to get a hard-on or for your partner to become wet.

Rushing things can just cause pressure, and the more pressured and tense you get, the more difficult it is for you to achieve an erection or for your partner to become sexually excited.

Focusing more on foreplay can also help you and your partner become more intimate. Plus, it can also help you broaden your definition of satisfying sex. For many elderly couples, having an orgasm is no longer the goal of sex. Rather, it’s all about intimacy.

For elderly men who really want to be able to engage in penetrative sex, there are also several options to help them achieve stronger erections. Prescription medications like sildenafil may not always be accessible, but herbal alternatives like sex enhancement supplements are plenty and readily available.

Tongkat Ali, for instance, is proven to be safe for elderly men, especially for those who are suffering from late-onset hypogonadism, which is a condition that causes your body to produce very little amounts of testosterone. Not only is Tongkat Ali proven effective in increasing testosterone production, but it’s also great for enhancing your erectile function.

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Dirty Talk Without Being Weird

Dirty talk can either make sex hotter and more exciting or downright awkward and embarrassing. Some people can make it sound so natural, while others sound silly, ridiculous, and even creepy.

Sex experts say that communication is important when you’re having sex. And part of that is talking to your partner about what you want and what feels good for you, as well as asking what your partner wants. If you don’t want to sound weird when you’re talking dirty during sex, here are six great tips for you.

#1 Do It Only If You’re Comfortable with It

The fact is that not everyone finds dirty talk comfortable or sexually exciting. If you’re comfortable talking dirty during sex, then, by all means, do it. If you feel awkward about describing in graphic details what you want to do to your partner, then maybe you should do that when you feel more confident about saying such things.

You should also consider if your partner is comfortable with graphic dirty talk. If you feel that words like pussy, balls, and dick make your partner freeze or cringe, then don’t force it.

Trying to talk dirty to a partner who’s uncomfortable with it will just make sex awkward and unenjoyable. This also means that you should be aware of and sensitive to your partner’s reaction when you talk dirty.

#2 Try Something Simple

If you’re not yet comfortable about talking dirty during sex, you don’t have to force yourself to use what other people may consider as filthy words. You can just keep it simple and say “that feels good” or “that’s hot.”

bed talk

The key is to verbalize what you’re feeling and telling your partner what you want or what you’re about to do. Detailed and graphic descriptions can make dirty talk really erotic. However, that’s only true if both you and your partner feel comfortable talking dirty during sex.

If you’re both not yet used to talking dirty, you can practice using simple words and phrases like “faster”, “that’s it”, or “I’m almost there.” As you become more confident about your dirty talk and as your comfort level increases, your dirty talk will just naturally improve.

#3 Choose Your Words

Dirty talk is supposed to help you and your partner build a stronger sexual connection with each other, not drive you apart. That being said, your choice of words matters a lot. Just like when you’re having a conversation with your partner, certain words can trigger a negative reaction.

It’s better to use words that your partner also feels comfortable using. If your partner prefers dick over cock or vagina over pussy, then try using those preferred words. And make sure you don’t go back and forth, as that can lead to confusion and ruin the mood if your partner strongly dislikes certain words that you’re using.

You wouldn’t want your partner to feel insulted with your dirty talk so it might be best to ask your partner if there are certain words you should avoid. If your partner doesn’t appreciate words like daddy and bitch, then just avoid using them.

Whether you’re asking your partner what she likes you to do for her or you’re telling your partner what exactly you’re going to do to make her climax, your tone also matters. Just make sure you don’t sound too clinical. Instead of saying cunnilingus, describe in detail exactly how you’re going to give her oral sex.         

#4 Be Sincere

Even if it consists mostly of taboo words, dirty talk is still a form of communication. And effective communication requires sincerity. When you talk dirty, say what you really feel. Tell your partner what you really want. And if you say you’re going to do something to please your partner, actually do it.

If you really like what your partner is doing to please you, then say so. And go into details when you talk about what you really like with what your partner is doing. On the other hand, if what your partner is doing doesn’t really float your boat, don’t say that you like it. Instead, say what you would rather your partner do.

#5 Don’t Be Afraid to Give and Receive Feedback

Sex is all about mutually pleasing each other. And you won’t know that your partner is pleased with your performance unless she tells you she’s satisfied. Nor will your partner know how pleased you are with her performance unless you give her feedback.

Your partner may tell you that you’re being too forceful when you’re stimulating her clitoris. That kind of feedback can help you adjust so that you can please your partner better. In the same way, you can also give your partner constructive feedback so she’ll know how she can excite and please you more.

happy couple in bed

Giving each other positive reinforcement is also a great way to affirm your sexual connection. And that can be part of your dirty talk, too. When you tell your partner you like the way she strokes your penis, or when your partner tells you she likes the way you play with her clitoris, that can make sex more exciting and fulfilling.

Such positive reinforcements during sex not only make you more aware of how you can increase your sexual pleasure, but it also helps build your confidence about your sexual performance.

#6 Location and Timing Also Matter

What’s nice about dirty talk is that it shows how intimate you are with your partner. It’s a language that only the two of you share, making it an intricate part of your sexual connection with each other. For this reason, couples usually keep their dirty talk private.

But there are also times when whispered dirty talk can suddenly fire up your sex drive and make you so excited that you can’t wait to drag your partner into the bedroom. This doesn’t mean, though, that you can just talk dirty to your partner anytime or anywhere you feel like it unless your partner is up for it.

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Best Ways to Time Your Orgasms with Your Partner

Most couples would agree that sex is most enjoyable when you climax together. Although this is something that makes sex so fulfilling, unfortunately, not all couples are able to achieve this each time they have sex.

Being able to achieve a shared orgasm is a worthy relationship goal, as long as you both know that it’s not the ultimate goal whenever you have sex. Here are great tips for couples who want to enjoy achieving simultaneous orgasms.

The Benefits of Climaxing Together

It’s common knowledge that women often experience difficulties achieving an orgasm during sex, and that men usually climax earlier than their partner. What experts refer to as the orgasm gap simply means that in heterosexual relationships, women typically have fewer orgasms than their male partner.

climaxing together

When you climax simultaneously with your partner, not only does it help bridge the orgasm gap in your relationship, but it also makes you more sexually connected with each other. The satisfaction and fulfillment that sex brings after you climax together are far more intense than when you orgasm separately.

One of the best benefits that you can enjoy when you orgasm at the same time with your partner is that your sexual bonding becomes stronger which, in turn, makes for a stronger and more satisfying relationship.

Tips for Achieving Orgasm Together

No matter how satisfying it is to climax at the same time with your partner, the sad truth is that many couples climax separately most of the time. If you find it difficult to time your orgasm so that you can climax together with your partner, here are 7 great tips for you.

#1 Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

Whether you’re a man or a woman, Kegel exercises will definitely help you gain control of your orgasm. Kegels will enable you to tone your pelvic floor muscles, as well as strengthen them.

Women with well-toned pelvic floor muscles tend to climax more quickly and easily, while men with strong pelvic floor muscles are able to control the timing of their ejaculation. For both sexes, having strong and toned pelvic floor muscles results in stronger and more intense orgasms.

#2 Lubricate When You Need To

For women, a lack of vaginal lubrication not only makes it difficult for you to achieve an orgasm, but it can also make sex quite painful. And painful sex is definitely unsatisfying. Using a vaginal lubricant during sex isn’t an embarrassing thing.

When you’re worried about not being wet enough, such concerns can distract you and prevent you from fully enjoying sex with your partner. What’s worse is that it can make stressed and anxious, and that can certainly dampen your libido, as well as make it more difficult for you to climax.

#3 Slow Down

Depending on which study you refer to, 75%-96% of men climax almost every time they engage in sex, as compared to only less than 30% of women. Studies also indicate that men tend to orgasm much more quickly than their female partner. For couples who want to be able to enjoy climaxing together, it makes sense for the male partner to slow down during sex.

One way to do so is by trying the stop-start technique, which is a technique that many sex therapists use to help men control and delay their ejaculation during sex. The key is to stop all sexual stimulation when the male partner is about to orgasm, and then to continue having sex again when the urge to ejaculate passes.

What’s great about the stop-start technique is that it helps men achieve better control over the timing of their ejaculation. Not only will you be able to better time your orgasm so that you can climax together with your partner, but it will also help build your sexual stamina and enable you to have sex with your partner for a longer period.

#4 Hit the Right Spot

Stimulating the G-spot at the right angle and using the right amount of pressure is one way to ensure that your partner will orgasm quickly. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who are still not sure where the sweet spot is, and what’s worse is that not all men know how to hit the right spot.

Finding your partner’s G-spot is actually a great sexual exercise and an excellent way for the two of you to strengthen your sexual connection. When you’re trying to stimulate your partner’s G-spot, don’t be shy to ask her if you’re hitting the right spot and if you’re applying the right amount of pressure.

#5 Focus on Her Clitoris


A lot of women find it easier to climax when their clitoris is stimulated. Clitoral masturbation is one way for you to help your partner climax. If you’re fond of rear-entry sex positions, make sure you pay extra attention to your partner’s clitoris to help her climax faster.

Of the various types of female orgasms, a clitoral orgasm is actually the most easily achieved. When you feel you’re about to ejaculate already, stimulate your partner’s clitoris to help her climax together with you.

#6 Always Communicate

Although sex is mainly a physical activity, it doesn’t mean that you should just focus on what you’re doing and the sensations you’re feeling while you’re having sex. In fact, open communication with your partner during sex can make the sexual act more enjoyable and fulfilling.

It’s not just about telling your partner what feels good during sex. It’s also about communicating to your partner how far or close you are to achieving an orgasm, and telling your partner to slow down or go faster so you can both climax at the same time. If your goal is to enjoy a shared orgasm, it can be achieved more easily when you communicate during sex.

#7 Don’t Pressure Yourself

Although it’s always nice when you can climax together with your partner, you don’t need to pressure yourself about it. The more you force yourself, the stronger the pressure becomes, and that can ruin the mood and make sex less satisfying.

You also need to remember that climaxing together shouldn’t be the end goal when you’re having sex, no matter how enjoyable it is when you orgasm together. Sex is about being intimate with each other, whether you climax separately or together.

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* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.