Dirty talk can either make sex hotter and more exciting or downright awkward and embarrassing. Some people can make it sound so natural, while others sound silly, ridiculous, and even creepy.
Sex experts say that communication is important when you’re having sex. And part of that is talking to your partner about what you want and what feels good for you, as well as asking what your partner wants. If you don’t want to sound weird when you’re talking dirty during sex, here are six great tips for you.
#1 Do It Only If You’re Comfortable with It
The fact is that not everyone finds dirty talk comfortable or sexually exciting. If you’re comfortable talking dirty during sex, then, by all means, do it. If you feel awkward about describing in graphic details what you want to do to your partner, then maybe you should do that when you feel more confident about saying such things.
You should also consider if your partner is comfortable with graphic dirty talk. If you feel that words like pussy, balls, and dick make your partner freeze or cringe, then don’t force it.
Trying to talk dirty to a partner who’s uncomfortable with it will just make sex awkward and unenjoyable. This also means that you should be aware of and sensitive to your partner’s reaction when you talk dirty.
#2 Try Something Simple
If you’re not yet comfortable about talking dirty during sex, you don’t have to force yourself to use what other people may consider as filthy words. You can just keep it simple and say “that feels good” or “that’s hot.”
The key is to verbalize what you’re feeling and telling your partner what you want or what you’re about to do. Detailed and graphic descriptions can make dirty talk really erotic. However, that’s only true if both you and your partner feel comfortable talking dirty during sex.
If you’re both not yet used to talking dirty, you can practice using simple words and phrases like “faster”, “that’s it”, or “I’m almost there.” As you become more confident about your dirty talk and as your comfort level increases, your dirty talk will just naturally improve.
#3 Choose Your Words
Dirty talk is supposed to help you and your partner build a stronger sexual connection with each other, not drive you apart. That being said, your choice of words matters a lot. Just like when you’re having a conversation with your partner, certain words can trigger a negative reaction.
It’s better to use words that your partner also feels comfortable using. If your partner prefers dick over cock or vagina over pussy, then try using those preferred words. And make sure you don’t go back and forth, as that can lead to confusion and ruin the mood if your partner strongly dislikes certain words that you’re using.
You wouldn’t want your partner to feel insulted with your dirty talk so it might be best to ask your partner if there are certain words you should avoid. If your partner doesn’t appreciate words like daddy and bitch, then just avoid using them.
Whether you’re asking your partner what she likes you to do for her or you’re telling your partner what exactly you’re going to do to make her climax, your tone also matters. Just make sure you don’t sound too clinical. Instead of saying cunnilingus, describe in detail exactly how you’re going to give her oral sex.
#4 Be Sincere
Even if it consists mostly of taboo words, dirty talk is still a form of communication. And effective communication requires sincerity. When you talk dirty, say what you really feel. Tell your partner what you really want. And if you say you’re going to do something to please your partner, actually do it.
If you really like what your partner is doing to please you, then say so. And go into details when you talk about what you really like with what your partner is doing. On the other hand, if what your partner is doing doesn’t really float your boat, don’t say that you like it. Instead, say what you would rather your partner do.
#5 Don’t Be Afraid to Give and Receive Feedback
Sex is all about mutually pleasing each other. And you won’t know that your partner is pleased with your performance unless she tells you she’s satisfied. Nor will your partner know how pleased you are with her performance unless you give her feedback.
Your partner may tell you that you’re being too forceful when you’re stimulating her clitoris. That kind of feedback can help you adjust so that you can please your partner better. In the same way, you can also give your partner constructive feedback so she’ll know how she can excite and please you more.
Giving each other positive reinforcement is also a great way to affirm your sexual connection. And that can be part of your dirty talk, too. When you tell your partner you like the way she strokes your penis, or when your partner tells you she likes the way you play with her clitoris, that can make sex more exciting and fulfilling.
Such positive reinforcements during sex not only make you more aware of how you can increase your sexual pleasure, but it also helps build your confidence about your sexual performance.
#6 Location and Timing Also Matter
What’s nice about dirty talk is that it shows how intimate you are with your partner. It’s a language that only the two of you share, making it an intricate part of your sexual connection with each other. For this reason, couples usually keep their dirty talk private.
But there are also times when whispered dirty talk can suddenly fire up your sex drive and make you so excited that you can’t wait to drag your partner into the bedroom. This doesn’t mean, though, that you can just talk dirty to your partner anytime or anywhere you feel like it unless your partner is up for it.