Do you feel comfortable about being emotionally intimate with someone or do you run away whenever the intimacy feels too intense? If you’re the type who pulls away from intimacy, then you may be a love avoidant.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t need love and intimacy in your life. It’s just that you have a difficult time dealing with emotional intimacy in your relationship. Being afraid of commitments is also one of the characteristics of a love avoidant.

Overview

As humans, we build relationships and attachments all through our lives. How we build these relationships and nurture them is influenced by our attachment style. The avoidant attachment style is one of the three relationship attachment styles. The other two are secure attachment and anxious attachment.

Those with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and close emotional connections. A person with an avoidant attachment style, however, tends to be independent and self-sufficient. They also tend to pull away from intense emotional connections.

How to Tell If Someone Is Love Avoidant

To make a relationship work, you’ll need to adjust to each other and sometimes compromise. However, that can be quite challenging if you can’t figure out what your partner wants. And if your partner is love avoidant, that presents a totally different challenge. Here’s how you can tell if someone is love avoidant.

Independence

independent woman enjoying coffee

Forming a relationship with a love avoidant is definitely possible. However, you need to remember that to a love avoidant, prioritizing the romantic relationship isn’t something that they can easily do. Rather, it’s more important for them to be independent and totally self-sufficient.

A person with an avoidant attachment style tends to crave independence more than intimacy. If you are love avoidant and you feel that the relationship is infringing on your need for independence, it’s possible that you just might decide to give up the relationship instead.

Limited closeness

While there are people who devote their entire selves to their loved ones, those with a love avoidant attachment style tend to limit closeness with other people. They can enjoy being with their partner, but they’re not a fan of big displays of emotion.

If you feel that your partner is always distant and you just can’t get close enough to her, no matter how hard you try to please her or follow what she wants, it’s possible that your partner is love avoidant. If so, you may feel as if there’s always an invisible barrier to her emotions that you just can’t cross.

No commitments

Some people think that only men are afraid of commitments, but the truth is that there are women who feel being tied down by a committed relationship is a nightmare. To them, commitments mean that they have to give up their freedom and independence.

If and when a love avoidant does enter into a committed relationship, it’s possible that he or she will cope with the perceived limited independence by making his or her own mental space. You may feel that your partner is shutting you out at times, or you may find that she keeps picking at your flaws, no matter how trivial.

Control

Because they value their independence so much, people with avoidant attachment style tend to hate being controlled. If your partner is love avoidant, you may notice that she tends to engage in distancing behavior whenever you try to assert control over your relationship.

Distancing behaviors include flirting with others, being dismissive, and being physically unavailable. This is the way a love avoidant would behave if she notices that you or your relationship is infringing too much on her freedom and independence.

Not worried about breaking up

Whereas those who have an anxious attachment style constantly worry about the relationship coming to an end, a love avoidant won’t appear to be concerned at all. You’ll most likely hear a love avoidant saying that it’s alright for the relationship to end since they never really had any deep feelings for the partner anyway.

If you’re the partner in question, that can be very hurtful, especially if you’ve been trying really hard to make the relationship work out. Even when your love avoidant partner really loves you, she might feel that breaking up with you will just bring her relief since she will be able to fully enjoy her independence again.

Other Signs to Watch Out For

If you’re not yet in a relationship, but you feel that the person you like is a love avoidant, here are some signs you should watch out for.

  • Mixed signals
woman unhappy in bed

A love avoidant tends to send mixed signals. If she’s really interested in you, she’ll let you know by being all warm, flirtatious, and charming. But when things start to get emotionally heavy, she’ll start acting cold and distant. You’ll probably end up wondering if she was really interested in you at all.

  • Vague communication

It can be very challenging communicating with someone who’s love avoidant. You probably won’t be able to get a straight answer from them if they perceive that the answer you’re looking for will force them to sacrifice their freedom. That’s even if all you want to know is whether they’re free for dinner.

  • Prefers casual relationships

Because people who have an avoidant attachment style dislike the idea of being in a committed relationship, they tend to be more interested in casual relationships. Not being in a committed relationship for several years is another sign that a person is a love avoidant.

If you really like someone who’s love avoidant, you might want to try the friends-with-benefits approach rather than confessing your undying love and passion. If you do the latter, she’ll probably just run away from you as fast as she can.

And if you do develop a sexual relationship with her, make sure you keep her satisfied. Always take Male UltraCore so you can be confident that you’ll be able to perform your best in bed. With an erection that’s extra hard and longer-lasting, you can never go wrong with Male UltraCore.

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* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.